Teens and Domestic Violence

Want to hear a story? Read this article about a girl who suffered domestic violence.

Early Warning Signs of Teen Dating Violence

Does your partner:

Insult you in public and/or in private?
Check up on where you've been and who you've talked to?
Put down your friends and family?
Limit where you can go and what you can do?
Destroy you belongings?
Tell you jealously is a sign of love?
Touch you in ways that hurt or frighten you?
Make all of the decisions and doesn't take your opinion seriously?
Pressure you for sex?
Get too serious about the relationship too fast?
Blame you when they mistreat you?
Concern your friends and family about your safety?
Make promises to change but doesn't follow through?
Prevent you from breaking up with them?
Tell you they can't live without you?

What You Can Do

Know that it is NOT your fault.

Call 911 if you are in danger.

Talk to a trusted friend or family member.

Talk to a trusted adult such as a counselor or teacher.

The more people you tell the safer you will be. How can you help a friend in a domestic violence


Let them know they are not to blame.

Make sure they are safe.

Listen to them, don't judge or give advice.

Let them know they can depend on you.

How can you help a friend in a domestic violence situation?

Let them know they are not to blame.
Make sure they are safe.
Listen to them, don't judge or give advice.
Let them know they can depend on you.

Minimizing Vulnerablity: Prevention of Date and Aquiantance Rape

Party Etiquette, Being Responsible for Yourself and Your Friends:

  • Go only where you want and with whom you want.
  • Listen to your gut reaction about social situations.
  • If something inside you says "no," then don't be pressured to go along.
  • Assert yourself and stick with it.
  • If you drink, stay in control.
  • Set your limits ahead of time.
  • Check in with your friends from time to time.
  • Make sure everyone is still comfortable at the social function.
  • Don't leave anyone stranded without a ride home.
  • If you think a person is being raped, call the police immediately.

Learn to defend yourself.

Danger Signals, Watch Out for These People

Do they decide what to do and where to go?
Do they ignore what you say, talk over you or pretend not to hear you?
Do they ignore your personal space boundaries?
Are they excessively jealous or possessive?
Do they express anger or aggression toward other people?
Do they have exaggerated, stereotypical views of others?
Do they drink or use drugs excessively?

Coercive Behavior/AKA: "The Lines" of a Date Rapist

Assault often occurs after the couple have been talking or dancing for a few hours. They may be talking or kissing in a private setting when the intimacy level threatens to go beyond where one is comfortable. When they say "NO," is when the coercion or force begins. The two most common forms of coercion used by rapists are threats of ending the relationship and arguing that sex should be performed: "You led me on," "You got yourself into this," "Don't be a tease."

"If you won't have sex with me, this relationship is over." "What's the matter? Don't you like me?" "We've had sex before. You can't start saying "no" to me now." "I know that you really want this. You say "no," but you mean "yes."


For victims to avoid acquaintance rape, they must avoid acquaintance rapists which are very hard to identify (almost impossible). However, it is recommended that you run away from people with any of the following characteristics:

• Becomes hostile when people say no to them or they don't get their way and may react with physical violence.

• Has an exaggerated sexist or supremacy attitude. They may call people demeaning names, order others about as if they were objects rather than people with wishes and feelings.

• Talks or acts as if they know you more intimately than they do. Uses a degree of familiarity that is not appropriate by telling crude jokes, using vulgar language, asking personal questions, staring, "playfully" tackling or tousling, standing or sitting too close.

• Handles normal everyday frustration with childish behavior such as throwing temper tantrums, shirking responsibility, making excuses, or blaming others.

• Displays excessive possessiveness or jealousy in relationships with other people; demands complete control, even dictating what their partner wear or whom they can see.

• Boasts about their sexual prowess, but actually has an immature or distorted view of sexuality.

• Has an underdeveloped conscious; either doesn't know right from wrong or doesn't care. Possibly defiant toward authority, particularly the criminal justice system.

• Uses drugs or alcohol, tries to get others to partake. These substances often contribute to violent behavior, but are not the cause.

• Reads pornography, frequents adult bookstores or x-rated movies.

• Tries to get people alone or in a situation where they are not able to assert themselves such as encouraging them to get drunk, or driving in a remote area.

• They may use their position of authority, as an employer or a teacher to get a person alone.

• Has a history of violent behavior or a criminal record for aggravated assault or sex offenses

• Making the right choices can highly change a teenagers life. Here is a story about a girl named Sam who took on some positive choices